Oh no, he ghosted me again! The absurd norms of dating in the 21st century

 

Romantic candle lit dinners and cheeky movie dates only feature in memory, black and white movies, and perhaps your grandparent's bedtime stories. 

Marking its grand debut through unsolicited images, Tinder hook-ups and sliding into DMs, the world of romance has undoubtedly taken a troubling turn. In the odd chance you're lucky enough to find someone unique in the digital world, add in the frustrating nuances of being left on read, cat-fished, blocked or ghosted and there you have it! 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the extreme sport of online dating in the 21st century. 

Swipe left for no or right for yes. Tinder offers its users a chance

to 'meet' the right one through flicking through a shopping list

of 'human' options. 

What was one the subject matter of classical Greek paintings, has now been commercialised by money-hungry media giants. Modern online dating operates successfully and infinitely be creating barriers to true intimacy. We never find ourselves close too close to one person as much as we find ourselves in superficial conversations with multiple people. Some argue that online platforms offer convenience and accessibility in a busy and crowded world. It's the hallmark of contemporary romance, but is time to swipe left on line dating? 

I would strongly argue that it is. 

Aside from the fact that 23% of users aged 16-24 use Tinder for hook-ups and another 44% out of mere boredom, online dating platforms have introduces a whole set of new behavioural norms in an already confusing interaction. 

Shout out to Charles Darwin, but 'Survival of the Fittest' has been granted a whole new meaning. 

Deciphering the 'hidden' meaning behind certain emoji's or why they've added an extra 'y' at the end of 'heyy!' has become painfully common. 

Confronted with a mildly challenging question? Don't worry. Simply, delete, block or forget it ever happened!

If he takes three hours to respond to your last message, beat him by taking six hours to respond to him and whatever you do, please make sure you don't double text! 

Before you know it, you're stick in a lifelong struggle of, 'to text or not to text'. 

 

Dating has changed immensely since the 20th century. Where

dating once led to marriage, dating in the current day and age leads to 

a range of other, 'less than matrimonial' experiences. 

The truth is that we have lost the ability to communicate with different others and enjoy the adventure of finding similarities. We've become impatient and demanding with incredibly short attention spans. Hiding behind our screens has led us to become awkward social creatures. A real life interaction between strangers now is not nearly as comfortable as texting a random match on Tinder. 

While 1.6 daily swipes seem promising as Tinder strives to 'match' its user with their perfect pair - this is far from reality. We flick through potential suitors through glancing at short biographies and photos rather than taking the time to know who they are, their quirks, ambitions and dreams. Tinder perpetuates the 'hook up, forget and move on' culture through advertising fun interactions, long enough to keep you entertained but short enough so that you're not seriously invested. Before you know it, you're swiping right to the next option. It's an addictive game that keeps you hooped and Tinder's annual revenue rising. Win, win?

There is excitement  and spontaneity in the unexpected, adrenaline in challenge and enlightenment in healthy contention. Modern online dating offers none of the above because much to your surprise, an endless shopping list of options quickly becomes boring. 

In this way Tinder not only mirrors, but actively creates modern society's desire for more. We become addicted to the constant dopamine hits facilitated by the curiosity of endless options. The irony is that more does not necessarily translate to the variety that we seem to crave. Neither are we satisfied with what we have. We often find ourselves fishing for something else in the pool of options that are fed to us. In the end we appreciate differences less and selfishly desire others through what they can offer us. Funnily enough, 'Plenty of Fish' offers just that. 

Perhaps online dating is wiring us to become more and more like the very platform that provide us with its services. Robotic, routined and emotionally unavailable. 

But what about the hopeless romantics who crave young love and happily ever afters? 

It seems for us dodging Tinder advertisements and deleting sordid message requests may be the closest chance we have to our own Nicholas Sparks storyline. You may even try to bump into a stranger and drop something in hopes that they might be chivalrous to pick it up for you. 

Long-term solutions however require traction. The more of us that realise that online dating apps such as Tinder are detrimental to a meaningful and flourishing relationship, the more chance we have to re-revolutionise the modern day love story. 

The real question therefore remains,... 

Will you swipe left or right on online dating?